So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
