Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
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