A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
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