Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Is her dick bigger than yours?
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