'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
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