I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Randomize
