Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
im holly from the hills drunk
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
