So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
This is the high leading the old right now
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
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