How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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