You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize