Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
