just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize
