i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
Randomize
