I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
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