Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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