Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
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