Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize