tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
