no, he came in my armpit
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
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It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
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