yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
