I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
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