I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
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