my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
