I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize