We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I just had sex on a roof
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Randomize
