It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
