i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
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