Pappa wants mamma naked
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
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