Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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