you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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