I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
