I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
4 words: hood of his car
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Randomize
