Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
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