It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
