chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
