the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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