Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
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