If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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