if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
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