suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
mondays should just be called national damage control day
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
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