Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
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