would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
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