I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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