I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
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