I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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