I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Randomize
