you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
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