how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize