I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Randomize
