After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
50% drunk capacity currently
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I could fuck to npr.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
