if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Randomize
