I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
