I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
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