Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
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She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
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Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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