do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
