just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
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