if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
