Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
