My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
