do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Just cropdusted the office
he shaved USA in his pubs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
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