It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
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