It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
