Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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