Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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