He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
