She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize