everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
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