Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
