at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
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