OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Randomize
