just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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