just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
