Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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