I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
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this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
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Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
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