Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Randomize
