I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
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